Monthly Archives: March 2011
So I saw an elderly man blow his nose yesterday and I realized that he was using a Handkerchief, which immediately grossed me out, but also peaked my interest to write a bit about it. Seriously, what is the deal with Handkerchiefs…who ever thought that a reusable tissue would be a good idea? Honestly, I’d rather blow my nose into a leaf, or even my hand and wash it after than blow it into a piece of cloth, fold that piece of cloth up and put it in my pocket, and when I need it again, pull the crusty thing out of my pocket and re-snotify it. And we wont even get started on when someone (usually someone really old) is kind enough to lend you their handkerchief…
From time to time I will watch Ace of Cakes, Cake Boss or even D.C. Cupcakes, but this spectacle is something that I have never seen before. Chidi Ogbuta of Allen, Texas, childhood dream was to have a doll made in her likeness…most people would opt to just get an American Girl Doll, but noooo this was not good enough for Chidi. Instead, she decided to find a pastry chef to bake a dress cake and another person to mold the upper portion of her to be exactly like her. Between the two they were able to sculpt and mold this ghettotastic idea into a reality! I don’t know if I’m more thrown off by the fact that this is not actually her “wedding day”, but rather her “vow-renewal day” (10 years) or by the fact that she is so vain that she actually wanted a whole 5’5” cake to celebrate herself….uhhh I mean her marriage. Furthermore, with the 5+ weeks it took to create this cake, I’d really like to know how edible the cake was. I can hear her now… “does this dress make my butt look fat?”…answer? no, but it will once you finish this cake!
Yesterday afternoon I was driving home from work and I passed this guy doing yard work with the best mullet ever. I’m not a fan of mullets in the instance of my own friends or family, but strangers? Bring it on, they are so classic and entertaining and honestly, a good mullet will never get old. I am only exhibiting male-mullets today, Shemullets (she-mullets) I will save for another day. In my opinion, the only thing better than a man with a mullet is a man with a mullet, cut off jean shorts and likely a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. If that doesn’t scream class, I don’t know what to tell you. Here’s a few famous ones, a few adolescent ones and few that are just beyond words.
Heres a couple of Famous Mullets:
Child Mullet: There’s 2 kinds of child mullets….
Then we have a classic here:
Finally, the best one of life.
- You feel uncomfortable driving without your cell phone, even somewhere within a mile because you might get into an accident.
- You no longer own a house phone…or a personal computer
- You no longer own an alarm clock…or any clock really except ones on other devices such as your microwave or DVD player.
- If your phone breaks you will stop whatever you are doing to get to your providers nearest store to get this issue taken care of pronto…and hurry because people are probably trying to get in touch w you as we speak.
- You take your cell phone everywhere with you – including the bathroom, you never forget your cell phone, and on the rare occasion that you did forget your phone, you will go home to get it, even if it means being late.
- Lending your cell phone to someone could be equated to letting someone hold your newborn, especially if the phone is new.
- When you see a sign that says “Please Turn Cell Phones Off”, because this is a ridiculous statement, you instead just put your phone on silent.
- You can have full length conversations about your cell phone’s capabilities with fellow users, or full blown arguments with users of other brands who claim their phone is better.
- Your cell phone is the first thing you touch in the morning…this is possibly due to the fact that it is also your alarm clock and you sleep with it under your pillow
- You are disgusted by people who don’t know how to use cell phones and/or don’t have them.
I don’t know what it is about my life decisions, but I always seem to make them directly before something that would change the decision happens (reference diet vs. mini eggs). Well here I am a couple weeks later, and again, I’ve made a good decision for myself, but truly at the worst time. For health reasons I decided I would “get off the coffee”. As luck would have it, the exact same day I make this rash decision we get the most amazing thing at work, which I have personally named “CoffeeMate2000”. Its this awesome coffee making machine that all you have to do is push a button to make regular, decaf, espresso or tea…and I can’t enjoy any of it. All of these delicious treats are available at the touch of a button (literally) and what am I drinking? hot water. booo
Remember a couple years ago when MTV was on a dating show kick? Although I’m sure in the future I will touch upon MTV’s other relationship shows Brett Michael’s Rock of love, Flavor of Love, its spin-off I love NY, and the even classier A Real Chance of Love – not to mention the friendship shows Paris Hilton’s My New BFF and hottie Brody Genner’s Bromance (all are too good to write just one sentence about), today I’ll stick with my personal favorite Shot of Love with Tila Tequila. I mean really, its genius…take a hot girl who “doesn’t know” if she wants to date a boy or another girl, then take 16 hot straight guys and 16 hot lesbian girls and have them all beg for her love while doing the most ridiculous tasks and obstacles. I honestly don’t know what is crazier, fighting for this confused girl’s attention on TV, sleeping in the same bed with all of the other contestants, or just simply the thought that the winner thought they were getting a “real person” once the show was over. I mean if you are really looking for a relationship for keeps, at least wait until the 3rd or 4th season…DUH!