You know you are/have been a waitress, if you can relate with these:
So from 2005-2010 I worked in a lovely restaurant, which has since then closed. Because of this experience, I would consider myself extra polite when dining out, not because I was brought up that way (which I was), but because I know exactly how it feels to be the one bringing out the food. I’ve compiled a list of people that probably shouldn’t be allowed to dine out. Although I’m sure there are many more groups of people that should be added to this list, here’s a few off the top of my head that have been irritating me for years. Please feel free to add.
- Cheeri-NOOO’s: People who bring cheerios for their kids that end up ground into the carpet EVERYWHERE. It’s worse when they offer to clean it up themselves because you know they are only saying it to be nice, but once, just once, I would have liked to have said “oh that would be great! I’ll go grab the dustpan for you!”
- Trickers: People who ask for one thing, but really want something else: see examples below:
- Water with no ice, then proceed to complain that the water is warm. Yea, no sh*t its warm, you asked for water with no ice, what were you expecting!
- Well done steak but then complain that it’s dry, or conversely a rare or medium rare steak but complain its bloody…do you know what you ordered?
- Ceasar Salad with ranch dressing. Gotta love those people.
- Gluten full’s: When you go to a table and the first thing the guest says is “Can we have some bread”. Since they have asked before you could even introduce yourself, you mind as well bring them 2 loaves to start and be prepared to bring at least 2 more before the end of the meal.
- Cheap-o’s: People who ask if the water is free, if the bread is free and then continue to ask the prices on everything else as they are ordering (even though they are holding a menu)
- Juvenile Eaters: aka Adults who order off the children’s menu because “they aren’t very hungry”. Ok, the rule is 12 and under…if you aren’t hungry, don’t go out to eat! How simple is that concept!
- Game Players: People that play games with the salt, pepper, sugar, splenda, sweet n low or equal. These games could consist of anything from mixing up all the sugars to loosening the tops of the salt/pepper. I’m only going to say this once…it’s not funny.
- Rude: Any statement that starts with “Let me get a…” Come on people, where did manners go?! Let ME get a PLEASE!
- Invisibles: People that do not look up at you…at all. Not when they are ordering or at any other time during their visit. They are too busy looking at the menu, talking on their cell phone, arguing with other people at the table, or frankly, just looking down, avoiding eye contact at all costs…what’s the deal here? Do you have 3 eyes or something?
- Complainers: People who complain that they did not like their food after they have eaten over half (if not all) of it. Come on! If you don’t like your food, let me know at the 1st, 2nd or 3rd check-back…don’t wait until the end of the meal. You think you’re getting a free dinner? No way, sucka…this ain’t my first rodeo.
- Party Goers: People that come in for a party, but can’t quite get it together. Being fashionably late is NOT ok for a chain restaurant where your “party” takes up a server’s whole section, resulting in the server standing around waiting for an hour, until of course everyone is there and everyone is in a huge rush! Which leads me to…
- Cakers: If you go to a restaurant and want dessert, BUY DESSERT. If you’d like to eat your own dessert, eat it at home, or in the parking lot or in your car. I really don’t care, but don’t come in, ask if we can store your food for you while you eat and then bring it out for you later.
- Coupon Whores: People who split the check 40 different ways for the sole purpose of using 40 different coupons.
- Camels: People who need more than 2 refills….how much do you really need to drink in one meal? And even a better question: where are you storing all of this liquid?
- Night Owls: The couple that comes in literally 2.5 minutes before the restaurant closes. I think this one explains itself, but just to be clear…all tables are wiped, floor is clean, shelves are stocked and kitchen is put away, but now because Jack and Jill here want an appetizer, salad, entrée and OF COURSE desert, you are stuck there for another hour, at least!