Sweet, Sweet Irene
Here I am sitting at Coaches bar in Webster NY with my brother, sister and cousin commentating on the girl wearing thigh high boots and booty shorts, the chunky girl with the boob tattoos, and the other twenty-something girl wearing “skater shoes”. Yep, I’m just having a grand ole time judging others when I look down and realize that I’m still wearing my crocs….whoops! Hopefully at least someone noticed and had themselves a field day with that one.
Irene was likely in her late70’s…I could tell because she was wrinkly like a prune and had that soft supple skin that you only feel when you hug your gram. Furthermore, she disclosed to me that her grandson was 31 years old…so 70’s may even be generous. From head to toe Irene emulated confidence from pink wicker hat to black fringe boots. To be more specific, Irene was wearing a pink wicker hat, a hot pink bejeweled long sleeve shirt, a white macramé vest with fringe on the bottom (which I can only assume she made herself), black cropped, cinched pants, and black high-heeled boots with long fringe that swung freely as she danced. To top it off, she had a large peace sign necklace (which I probably would have worn myself) and a medallion with Jesus’ face painted on it. Irene was one fine specimen, I’ll tell you that. She wasted no time getting her booty on the dance floor. And when I say “booty on the dance floor” I mean it! She pulled out all the stops including the dancing crab, skiiers, and of course full splits. Everyone knows that no solo dance routine isn’t complete without a full split.
I was just minding my own business photographing and video taping her, when she spotted me and asked me to join her on the dance floor. Since she had successfully cleared the floor of all other dancers and I had my dancing shoes on I thought it was only appropriate that I join her. I followed her lead, learned some new moves, and even crawled between her legs. Hey, she asked me to, and you areeee supposed to respect your elders right??
No but really, in all seriousness, Irene was really incredible. I couldn’t help myself from talking to her for quite some time after our dance routine. Her voice was about as high as her spirits and she was not shy to tell me about herself. She has been a widow for about 11 years now, and though she lives alone she is NEVER lonely. She drives herself to the gym daily in her huge blue Ford F150 where she lifts weights (her biceps put mine to shame, which is sad since I work out everyday). I know this because she asked me to feel them…twice. I asked her where she learned to dance like that and she said that she taught herself all the moves. She’s retired so she has ample time to practice. She said she regularly goes to Coaches on Saturdays ready to dance the night away. She even told me that many times boys try take her home and while she entertains the idea, she never actually follows through with their requests. (GILF?? Idk…)
Irene was definitely one odd duck, but I’ll tell you what: she really has the right idea. “You’re only as old as you feel” she told me. She really practiced what she preached, and I can absolutely respect that! My one hope is that our paths cross again!