The Deodorant Conundrum

I’m not sure if it’s just me or if this is something that happens to everyone or if it’s just me, but every time my deodorant runs out I’m genuinely surprised. Almost to the point of being shocked.  I don’t know why this is.  I know that a tube of deodorant does not live as long as people do, but each time it happens I think to myself “how did this happen?  I just bought this deodorant”.  Now of course that is not the case.  I probably bought it a month ago or maybe two, who knows.  I don’t regularly keep track of my toiletry purchases.  Perhaps I should though, and I wouldn’t be constantly faced with this problem.

It’s just not one of those things that you expect will never run out.  I mean with everything else you can see it coming.  If you’re like me, you squeeze and flatten and fold your tube of toothpaste for a week and a half before finally making it to the store to get more.  Or eat a bagel for three days in a row even though you told yourself you’re on a low carb diet just to save that last cup of milk for a protein shake later in the week – heaven forbid I step foot in a grocery store if it’s not for my weekly shopping visit!  These things don’t sneak up on you…you can see them coming a mile away.  Deodorant, on the other hand, in it’s deceptively opaque tube, sits there silently.  Mocking you looking and feeling full and stuff, then BOOM, just like that there’s not another “click” to be had.

What is the solution for this quandary?  Well any halfway intelligent person could say “Buy two and when the first one runs out you have a few weeks to get a new one while you’re using the reserve”, or “switch to a brand that has a transparent tube”, or even the obvious “stop on the day you see you have one only more day and grab some more”…am I going to follow any of these simple pieces of advice?  Probably not.  I’m probably just going to be super annoyed when my deodorant runs out, frustrated because I’m late and don’t have stop and get more, and confused on how it ran out so quickly when I just bought it “like yesterday or something”.

Yo Mama

So as an innocent bystander I witnessed a conversation between two boys, about 7 years old, that was just too funny to keep all to myself.  One of them was trying to start up some “yo mama” jokes (and not very good ones at that) and the other…well the other, being such a sweet kid, just wasn’t having it.  The conversation went like this:

Kid 1:  Yo mama’s so fat she can’t even see out the window (for the sake of this story, lets just disregard that this insult doesn’t even make any sense.)

Kid 2:  Do you know how to get the special instructions for Halo?

Kid 1:  Yo mama’s so fat she can’t even see out the window (you know, just in case kid 2 didn’t hear it the first time around)

Kid 2:  Are you calling my mom fat?

Kid 1:  No!  It’s Yo Mama!  It’s Insults!  It’s so funny!  Try it!  Repeat after me!  Yo Mama’s so fat she can’t even see out the window.

Kid 2:  But my mom’s not fat.

Kid 1:  Not your mom!  It can be anyone’s mom…like this:  Barack Obama’s wife is so fat she can’t even look out the window.  (seriously, this kid needs to get some new material, am I right?)

Kid 2:  But Barack Obama’s wife isn’t fat.  She’s really pretty…I don’t want to talk about this, can we talk about how to beat Halo…