Monthly Archives: August 2017

Kitty Cat Confessionals Vol I: I hate cats.


OK, so let me get you up to speed:  I had a cat once, Sammy. Two years and 16 stitches later, Sammy is the reason I have three eye brows. (NOTE:  Sammy did sleep in my bed after I got home from the hospital that night because, you know…“it wasn’t his fault”, but goddamn was that cat an asshole).  It took another 4 years of me crying to my parents to NOT give Sammy away (I never said I wasn’t crazy) and then ultimately Sammy LITERALLY peeing on my mom in her own bed for my mom to “bring Sam to a farm” (tho to this day she will never admit she wished him ill will).  I was devastated, obviously.  Now I’ve got scars and no cat to prove my story.  But anyways, after this harrowing experience I’ve abstained from cats.  Cats are selfish, manipulative, tricky, sly assholes (nothing like my sweetheart puppy girl TessieMay). So lets get up to present day – I have this boyfriend who is obsessed with cats (I know, I know…but he has other great qualities, ok?), anyways, turns out I love him more than I hate cats….enter Lucielle Ball.

LB

Until next time…meow

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