Category Archives: Happy Holidays!
Christmas is finally here and now being single for the first time at the holidays in almost a decade I have been pondering how freaking WONDERFUL it is. No seriously! For years I’ve felt bad for the singletons who have no one to spend time with during the holiday season, but as it turns out, I was completely wrong about this. This comes as an extra shock because I’m almost never wrong. Here’s my top ten list of why its a brilliant idea to be single this holiday season:
- You don’t have to hang out with anyone else’s annoying family. And you don’t have to drag anyone to hang out with yours!! Let’s face it, its wonderful to spend time with loved ones during the holiday season, but it gets old quickly…especially if it’s double time! And while hanging out with your significant other’s family can be loads of fun, it’s tiring, damnit! “Playing nice” would be a lot easier and more fun if it were acceptable to have about 4 more glasses of wine!
- You don’t have to send out holiday cards: As you may have seen in one of my prior posts, normally I send out holiday cards to my nearest and dearest. This year I didn’t, and to be honest, I don’t really feel bad about it. The best thing I did in 2012 was break up with my boyfriend and since that doesn’t exactly fit the bill for a cheerful holiday card, I guiltlessly skipped the whole ordeal this year. Instead I took the money I saved and actually went out for a meal or a drink with the people that I really wanted to catch up with!
- No extra gifts: Without a boyfriend or girlfriend you don’t have to worry about the “Christmas Politics”. Since you’re not going to anyone else’s family functions you don’t have to worry about getting a Christmas present for you significant other’s mother or annoying brother. You don’t have to make one last run to the package store for a bottle of wine to bring to his aunt’s house for Christmas dinner, or make a bazillion cookies to bring with you so that you look like Little Miss Suzie Homemaker. And you certainly don’t have to search Macy’s for the perfect $10 or less gift for some weirdo Yankee Swap.
- You don’t have to go to more than one lame-o company holiday party: Luckily the company I work for has an amazing Christmas Party where they pull out all the stops, but from what I understand, most companies are not this way. Here’s a great question for you – what is the point of going to a party where you have to behave…isn’t that an oxymoron?
- You don’t have to find “the perfect gift”: Every guy or gal wants to get their boyfriend or girlfriend the perfect gift. Usually there’s a price limit, but then there’s the unspoken question of “should I stay within the price limit, should I not?” If you stay within the limit, but the other person goes above and beyond, you look like a douche…if you go above and beyond and they stay within the limit, you’re disappointed. Even if you don’t admit you’re disappointed, you are. We all know that you are. One year for Christmas my ex-boyfriend and I had a “no gift” rule. I proceeded to get him a very nice pea coat, and he gave me the gift of air. Yep. Air. I did mention that was an EX-boyfriend, right? 😉
- You can look forward to mistletoe: Yea, all you couples out there can kiss away 365 days a year, but I mean really, where is the fun in that? Going to a Christmas Party as a singleton you can easily scope out a single hottie, and with very minimal amounts of planning you will both end up under the mistletoe in no time at all! And if you think you’re too shy to make that happen, ask a ballsy friend for help, have a couple eggnog/rums and give it a go. What’s the worst that can happen!?
- Holiday Candy and Holiday Cookies: Without having all the extra holiday obligations, you’re not obligated to make and/or buy all this extra crap for the holidays. That being said, its pretty inevitable that you’ll accumulate a bunch of holiday goodies regardless…and when you do, not only do you not have to share them with anyone, but you also don’t have to worry about anyone judging you. So what if I ate an entire bag of moose tracks, had 2 egg nogs, 3 cookies and half a tray of home-made fudge? YOLO!
- You can play the”Alvin in the Chipmunks Christmas CD on repeat: The Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Album is the holiday equivalent to “Call Me Maybe”. Seriously…it’s one of those things that if anyone else was around and it came on you’d say “OMGGGGG this is the most annoying song ever”, but if it comes on while you’re all alone, you know you’re singing every last word…possibly loading it on repeat. (My holiday guilty-pleasure Christmas Song is Dominic the Donkey…with all the sound effects! heehaw heehaw!”
- Party til New Years!! Christmas doesn’t have to be just one day if you’re single. The world is your oyster so since people have taken extra time off work or are in town visiting with family, take advantage of it, and have fun!! You don’t have to get home at any certain time to hang out with your significant other, or feel bad leaving them at home, or the worst – invite them to come hang out with you and your life-long friend. All you have to do is meet up at the local watering hole and sip martinis and gossip about all the latest and greatest news!
- Holiday Weight? What’s Holiday Weight: No matter how hard you try, you’re going to put on a few lbs throughout the Christmas season…and if you don’t well 2 things: 1. F you, seriously, and 2. You need to live a little more! Come on, who can seriously stay away from all the holiday goodies! But, without needing to look good for your significant other, you can indulge in a few extra treats. Just don’t go so overboard that you wont be able to slim back down before Valentine’s Day…You don’t want to be single forever after all!!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 15,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
With only 12 hours until the ball drops, it’s amazing to think about how quickly the past year has gone! I always heard from adults that as you get older the days go quicker and quicker and I never really believed them. I remember as a kid having a countdown until Christmas that started the day after Thanksgiving and it seemed like it took FOREVER. Nowadays, I hope time will stop so that I have enough time to do everything before the big day.
2011 was an interesting year. Many people came into my life, and few left too. I had a lot of changes in from a new job (slightly before), to living on my own. I probably will feel this way at the end of every year from here on out (or at least I hope I will) but I think I’ve learned a lot about myself and other people and have learned to move on from the past and live in the present.
Oh, and the best part of 2011 was starting my blog! With the encouragement of a special co-worker, I started erinHasThoughts in January of 2011 and in this first year have had over 16,700 views! I have some great things in store for you guys in 2012! Keep reading and make sure you “like” erinHasThoughts on FaceBook so that you get all of the latest updates!
Hope you all have a happy and safe New Year and fantastic 2012 to come!
Keeping up with the Joneses is not always easy in suburbia when you have an overzealous holiday decorator living next door!! This clever family decided to not try to keep up with their neighbor’s holiday cheer that keeps getting bigger and better every year. Instead, they took a “short-cut” which humorously got their point across!
Jon Stewart: “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
Jim Gaffigan: “Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'”
Stephen Colbert: “Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.”
Kevin James: “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
Jack Handey: “If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!'”
Jay Leno: “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”
Johnny Carson: “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
Greg Proops: Ever since you’re little you hear this: ‘The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.’ But even when you’re little you’re like, ‘Umm.. Bullsh*t?'”
Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”