Category Archives: Ridiculous People

The ‘A Team’

I live in Connecticut, where historically between November and April we receive multiple snow falls where plows, shovels, salt and sand are essential.  This year we have received 2 snowfalls worth mentioning.  Yes, we’ve had a dusting here and there, and a handful of days under 40 degrees, even a few days where I need to scrape the frost off my car before heading off to work, but for the most part it’s been a pretty mild winter (thank god).  Anyways, like I said, We’ve only had about 2 snow-falls and the first one melted completely before the second one happened, so it’s not like it’s a big stressful thing where there is no where to put the snow like a couple years ago.  A couple years ago the month of January was the worst in Connecticut’s history piling over 4 feet of snow on our state in about 3 weeks.  It was insane, and also extremely bad luck for me because I was living with my parents at the time and had to help shovel every time…since I’ve moved out, I don’t think there has been one shovel-worthy snowfall, of course!

Anyways…I keep getting distracted today!  So the point of this post is to illustrate how smart you need to be to man a plow truck.  At my apartment complex there is a huge row of mail boxes.  They have been there as long as all the apartments have been there and are pretty large, standing about 4 feet tall.  Lets not forget that our last snowfall was only about 6 inches, so there is no way that they were so covered in snow that they couldn’t be seen.  Now, can someone please explain to me how it’s possible that a plow truck took out not one, not two, but THREE of these massive mail holders which is located in very clear view in the front entrance of my complex? I mean seriously, this man* must have been texting or something because I can’t think of any other reason that he would just barrel through multiple mail boxes cemented into the ground


*Though veering off the road and hitting a very large, stationary, inanimate object seems like something a woman would do, I assume the gender of the plower was a male, mostly because I’ve never seen a female plower.

A Day In The Life of Being on “The Naughty List”

Hello all and Happy Holidays!  I’ve been a HORRIBLE blogger lately, and by “horrible”, what I really mean, is non-existent.  So, what I’m going to do is dive right back in with a bang.  I’m going to back it up to 2008 and tell the story of the year I was on the Naughty List.  At the time I was fresh out of college, but still working at the restaurant I had worked at throughout college a couple nights a week.  A couple of my co-workers who were roommates decided to have a “Naughty or Nice” Christmas Party.  Now, given the fact that we all were between 18 – 25 and a good looking bunch, if I do say so myself, and course I do, I figured people would go the “naughty” route.  I guess I was still in the college mind set because whenever my fraternity had themed parties the “cowboy/Indian” party turned into “sexy cowboys/slutty Indians” party, and the “Laua” became “wear-a-cocoanut-bra-in-the-middle-of-February-party”…you get the idea.

Anyways, while out browsing for an awesome outfit for the party, I found a baseball tee with red arms and white body that said “team naughty” on it and it came with a pair of red and white striped boy shorts underwear and baseball socks.  Obviously this was intended for pajamas, but I also decided that with my black Uggs and Santa hat it would be the PERFECT ensemble for the night to come.  So at this point I’m pretty pumped for the party and I’m feeling pretty confident about my outfit.  I guess you can say I figured I’d fit right in.

1xmasI get to the party a bit late, as it was snowing and the roads were pretty slick, and I walk in with my black pea coat buttoned up to the top.  I walk through the door and look around.  Holy. Shit.  That’s seriously what I said, both out loud and in my head.  I’m pretty sure I said it in my head about 400 more times than I said out loud, but that’s not the point.  As I looked around I noticed the other 20 or so guests that were already at the party were dressed “nice”.  No, not just “nice”, I mean nice.  Every person in the room had on a nice dress, pearls, or a sweater vest.  I’m pretty sure there was even some bow ties mixed in, and here I am in my freaking underpants…W.T.F.??  Erica and Jon, the hosts, came over to me and offered to take my coat, as any good host would.  I immediately said “I can’t take my jacket off”.  They asked why, and I discreetly opened my jacket to show them what I was wearing.  No, let me rephrase that,  I showed them what I wasn’t wearing.  I proceeded to go into Erica’s room with her while she tried to convince me stay as I, almost in tears mind you, was trying to tell her I had to go home because there’s no way I could face this crowd dressed as a naughty elf.  At this point, Jon (my savior) came into the room with a tray of shots…after a shot (or 5) I decided that my outfit was actually completely appropriate for this party and made my way out to the crowd.

Though at the time it was probably the most mortifying moment of my life, today this story goes a long way.  I’m not sure I know of anyone else who who is stupid enough to get themselves into this mess…but even if I did meet someone on my level, I don’t know that they would shamelessly strut around that way all night.  In the end, this is obvious proof that though people say “alcohol isn’t the solution”, there are actually some cases where it is…this, my friends, is one of them! 😉

Have you ever had a “party foul”?  how did it end up?

The Trouble With Americans

I love America.  I think it’s a great country and I feel lucky to live here.  That being said, I have some pet peeves about how so many Americans are so LAZY and not only that, but we are a country that not only encourages it, but also facilitate it.  Go ahead, eat 2 Big Macs everyday for lunch and grab a pizza on your way home for dinner to scarf down with your 2 liter of Mountain Dew.  Don’t worry about the repercussions that it will have on your health because America will accommodate you.  They will make seats larger for your expanding ass, they will make clothing bigger for your expanding gut, and they will give you an “easy way” to get your sexy back.  And if something should happen to you because of your health, whether its a heart attack or safety harness snapping don’t worry, there’s millions of people out there that you can sue to get what “you deserve”.

Where is this coming from?  Well I was listening to the radio and heard an ad for Laser55.  Laser55 is a “non-invasive” method to lose weight quick. You know what else is non-invasive?  eating healthy and exercising.  But unfortunately even the thought of that is too painful for many to bear.  The part about this whole ordeal that I find entertaining is that all of the pictures on Laser55’s website show sexy ladies who probably weigh 105 lbs, and have probably not eaten a carb since they were 14.  These people likely didn’t go through the Laser55 Lipotherapy because they are already stick skinny.  All the fatties out there thinking they are going to magically look like this by just sitting through a couple of lipotherapy sessions during their lunch break are in for a rude awakening.

Before and After Pic

As you can see from this picture, though there is a slight different, this woman still looks much different than the woman shown above.  Is there a difference?  Certainly.  Is there more of a difference than if this woman spent her lunch hour walking and having a healthy salad or sandwich rather than spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, getting a non-surgical laser weight loss solution?  Probably not.  And without continuing to receive these expensive treatments, she will either continue to look the same, or plump back up to the picture on the left.  Remember the results are “staggering” and the before and after pictures I see, I can only assume are the “good ones”…and that’s not saying much.

Hey, whatever you want to do with your life is completely up to you, but in my own experience it is much more rewarding to work hard and earn your result  than just pay for them…wait, isn’t that called cheating?  What was that saying?

Winners Never Cheat…and Cheaters Never Win.

Think about it.

So I just saw this commercial for Ronzoni…single servings of pasta.  This is seriously the most idiotic thing that i’ve ever seen.  Pasta boxes are reclosable.  You can pour just SOME into a pot of boiling water and still save some for later without having to pay extra for the special “pre-portioned” bags…  oh my word.  people these days

Is It Still Cannibalism If You’re Only Eating Ashes?

When the TV show “My Strange Addiction” first premiered sometime last year I set my DVR to automatically record new episodes.  I’ve only actually watched one or two because the show is actually a lot less interesting that I thought it would be, but last night with Bachelor Pad being over I was left with some free time.  I flipped on an episode of My Strange Addiction…I only watched about 10 minutes of it before I had to turn it off, but what I did see, I need to share.  This young 28 year-old woman named Casie unfortunately lost her husband in a freak asthma attack  a couple of months ago so she does what any normal person would do:  she pretends he’s still alive and brings his urn with her everywhere she goes and has conversations with it.  Legit – she has conversations with her husband’s ashes, asks his opinion on things, and cooks his favorite meals for him.  OK, I can almost come to terms with this because the woman is obviously pretty torn up, but what crosses the line is that she eats his ashes.  The last thing I heard Casie say before I had to turn off the TV was she likes to lick her fingers before she puts them into the ashes, and she “doesn’t just ‘dip’, she really swirls her fingers around to cake the ashes on good”.  OKkkkkk and that’s enough for me.  I mean besides the serious health implications that could be caused from eating a dead body that has been soaked in chemicals and burnt to ashes, the thought of eating someone you know is just raunchy.   The most disgusting part is that this isn’t something she has done once in a desperate action, but rather something she does multiple times each day…in fact, it’s the main part of her body at this point – she’s eaten a full pound of her husband and is running out fast!

Cake it on good, Casie…

Cell Phone

Broken Cell PhoneJust a little thought for the day:  I’m not trying to be a jerk here, but I really don’t understand the messages I see on Facebook that say “lost my cell phone, so if I don’t get back to you right away, that’s why”, or “Cell phone went swimming – I’m out of commission til further notice”.  or anything along those lines.  To  keep this short and sweet, I’ll just list my reasons why I think this is dumb:

1. How many people are actually calling you in one day that people are going to be legitimately concerned if you don’t return their call in an hour?  I mean I’d say I’m liked an average amount but still, that being said, not counting calls from my boyfriend (if I’m lucky), most of the time I spend on my phone is perusing the internet and responding to emails….which brings me to my next point –

2. Since you’re posting this message on Facebook, you OBVIOUSLY have access to the internet, sooooo instead of making yourself feel important and telling the whole world that you’re phone is out of commission for a while just in case the whole world wants to get in touch with you, why don’t you just email the 2 or 3 people who would actually notice and call it a day.  I hope that this doesn’t come as a shock, but about 97-99% of the people who read that message probably weren’t planning on contacting you.

3. Furthermore, don’t people understand that you can retrieve your voice mails from ANY phone?  This is not a joke, you really can, and if you honestly don’t know how to do that, here’s the secret:  Step 1:  pick up a phone, any phone will work, land line, cell phone, pay phone, whatever.  Step 2:  dial your cell phone number. Step 3: when your voice mail picks up, press “#”.  Step 4: punch in your password.  voila – problem solved.  Now you can keep in contact with your fan base and no one will worry their pretty little heads over your phone debacle.

4.  What’s with the “lost all my contacts, send me your number” post on Facebook.  I hate to have to be the one to announce this, but its 2012.  Don’t people have their info backed up on a computer somewhere?  I mean I, for one, know the phone numbers of about 95% of my friends and family by heart.  I don’t expect everyone to be that awesome, but I would expect people, especially tech-savvy 20-somethings, to have enough common sense to back up their life.

5. This is the real kicker for this whole situation, if you ask me.  People make this dramatic post on Facebook like they are going to be in a 3rd world country for a year or something.  Let’s face it:  for most of us, cell phones are our everything:  our phone, our calendar, our email device, our gps, our internet, our alarm clock, address book, camera, game counsel, and the list goes on and on…I think it’s pretty safe to say that even if the phone is lost, shattered or stolen, the longest you will be without it is 3 days or less.  I think it may even be impossible to live without a phone for longer than that amount of time.

So I guess at the end of the day what I’m trying to say is a couple of things:  Pull.It.Together.  Back your shit up and stop acting like the whole world is concerned that your phone isn’t working.  Contact your mom (and possibly your significant other) and let them know, but don’t worry about everyone else because at the end of the day, your mom/significant other is probably the one(s) who will have even noticed that you haven’t called or texted them all day, and even they, probably wont care.

The Gems Of BigY, Ellington

A couple of days ago I went to BigY to get some stuff to make myself and Ben a delicious dinner and I come out of the store to this tool is his late 90s Honda Civic with Lamborghini doors blaring music just chillin in parking lot.


Am I the only one who this this is absolutely ridiculous?? I mean seriously, what the hell? What is the point of putting these doors on a 15 year old car in the middle of nowhere Ellington, CT? Lmao this is ludicrous.

The Nonsensical Bathroom Nesting Phenomenon

For years, maybe even decades, I have been aware that there are people out there who won’t sit on a public john. Heck, there are even people out there who won’t use one at all…you know who you are. 😉  I get it.  Sometimes they are gross.  Maybe a little pee on the seat, maybe no toilet paper, maybe a day old deuce floating around.  Here’s what I DON’T get.   The “nesters”.  Now it’s not the concept of the nesting that I don’t understand, it’s the aftermath of said action.  Now if I had to guess, I’d say nesters nest because they don’t want their bum touching something that someone else’s bum has already touched.  Ok, so far I follow.  Where I get lost is why they leave the nest on the seat when they’re through.  It’s like they’re saying “Your ass is dirty and I don’t want my bare butt touching a seat it touched, but my ass…well my ass is amazing, oh, and also I’m super lazy, so please, feel free to use my pre-made nest.  Just make sure that you dispose of it when you’re through because if you don’t I’m not going to use that stall and I’m going to monopolize a whole nother stall with my nesting skills”.

Let it be known that this post is not based off a real experience I’ve had, it IS an experience I’ve had…2 times in a week…in the same building!  Come on people!  Get it together!

well isn’t that just dandy

The most random thing happened to me at a small town gas station in Burdett, New York. I went to the Dandy Mart to fill up and while Ben went inside to pay, while we were parked at the pump, I took this awesome picture. Anyways, I digress, I go back to the car and there is this guy using our pump to pump gas. I was dumbfounded by this and didn’t really know what to say so I just said “hello”. he responded with “oh hello, am I in your way?”…Wait what!?!? so you are going to come and sneak in the 6 inches between  my car and the gas pump and then nonchalantly ask if your in, my way? I seriously didn’t even know how to respond to this ridiculousness. So, I just went in and got Ben and let him take care of business.


Now isn’t that just dandy?

And This Is Precisely Why Drug Dealers Should Not Use Their Own Drugs

Ok so this story caught my eye…not because it’s so shocking that three dumbass boys in their late teens and early twenties are dealing drugs, but more because of how stupid they are.  They rented a room at the Hilton in Milford CT, were apparently using it to do whatever it was they needed to do to get their heroine “street-ready”, (sorry, I don’t have any experience in this so I really can’t go into detail), and then proceeded to leave the hotel.  My guess is that the convo went something like this:

Idiot #1:  Lets rent a hotel room to break up this herion.  My mom hates it when we do it in her basement.

Idiot #2:  Yea, thats a great idea…and we have all this money from dealing drugs so its no problem

Idiot #3: Yea, man!

2 hours and mad drugs later

Idiot #1:  Let’s get outta herrrr mannnn….gotta make sum calls

Idiot #2:  Yea…we don’t want to get caught here with all dis shit

Idiot #3:  Yea, man….

1 hour later (once their high has worn out)

Idiot #1:  Man, pass me some of that shit…I needs it.

Idiot #2: I don’t have it, he took it…

Idiot #3:  uhhhh……………

So of course what they did was next was they immediately went back to the hotel to try and rent the same room…not knowing that the cops were already there.  Needless to say, they were all promptly arrested.

Employees at the Hilton Garden Inn found the heroin while cleaning the room and called police. The suspects, Curran Lake, 20, David Jefferson, 19 and Sean Reid, 26, were arrested when they returned and attempted to rent the same room, not knowing police were on the property. (Courtesy of Milford Police / June 28, 2012)

I mean come on people, if you’re going to deal drugs at least TRY to be smart about it!  What retards!

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